MY EAR HURTS

April 7, 2008

SO BAD SO BAD :( :( :(
^MY PAIN

ADNESS

April 4, 2008

I’m a mix of asian and french and my hair is naturally purple. My skin tends to turn blue from time to time and sometimes I like to dump cereal and milk on the floor and lick it up like a cat. Ow, ow. I like to dress up in a bunny costume and dance up on random people walking down the steet and then take their money. I like money, yay. My mouth is three sizes too big and my hands are really small. I like to eat mold, nummy nummy. And my face is weird because my dog chews on it while I’m sleeping. I have seven toes and my best friend is an owl. She’s hilair. Except she steals from me sometimes because she’s a bitch. So I ripped her feathers off, YEAAAH.

Cliches

March 20, 2008

I stared at my grandma who had kicked the bucket. Her mouth wide open, her eyes shut, she looked gentle as a lamb. But the funeral was outside and it was starting to rain buckets, so I hightailed it out of there. I got home but suddenly I had a hole in the roof so rain kept falling through so I had to put a bucket under and then dump it out around the clock. I thought to myself, “wow, I’m gonna be doing this til hell freezes over” so I moved out. Then I had to get a nine to five job to pay for my new, expensive house. The bottom line was that everything but the kitchen sink was brand new. My life was turning into a federal case for being fabulous, and everything was easy as pie. I had a son who turned out sharp as a tack and I was proud as a peacock. Until I died a slow death and was dead as a door nail and then the same happened to him. THE END!

OH NO MAN OH NO

March 13, 2008

You may feel a pain in your knees. Your back will probably hurt. In the morning, you may experience heart attack or stroke. Don’t be surprised if your ears begin to bleed.

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Prescriptions ooooh

March 13, 2008

The medication for my depressive state ended up givin me nothing but hate
So they placed a chip in my brain to make me love
but it cause so much pain that I couldn’t hug anyone
So I got my sweet little rips replaced
but that cause blood to streamed down my face
and out my eyes
So they sewed on a nice disguise
so no one could see
but then something else started hurting me
My arm fell right out the socket,
so I wore a cast,
which caused a pain right near my pocket
It was a tumor in my leg
I started to scream but my mom said “behave!”
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse,
somebody placed a bomb in my purse
It blew off my arm and caused me such harm
I cried and I cried,
until later my eyes finally dried
…..but then I died

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My Family Values

February 15, 2008

My family really values being yourself
That is why I am what I am
And do what I want
And say what I think
Oh dang
cause I didn’t have no daddy around when I was growing up
that’s why I’m wild and I don’t give a HUH!
oooh ooooh
fin

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BLACK JESUS? HOOOHOHOOOHOOOOH ooh

My First Steps

February 15, 2008

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Once I was a baby
Babies are kind of dumb
All I remember is standing up
whilst sucking my thumb
it was then that one foot moved forward
and the other chose to follow
when I realized that I was walking
I said “see y’all tomorrow!”

Autobiography

February 8, 2008

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If you want my autoooooooo, want my autooooooobioooographyyyyy… BABY JUST ASK MEEEEEEE… Just keeding, that song is kinda lame, yeah.

But uh, yeah, I totally did this wrong because I wasn’t here when you all did it, SO EFF YOU GUYS. Except not. Woot.

Anyways, hey hey! This is about moi, and uh, when I was little my mommy was a big ol’ druggy and was like snort snort sniff sniff so I lived with my grandmamama. My grandmamama would be like “hey I’m gonna cook you some food and play with you” and I was like “woohoo!” but my mom was like “I LOVE DRUGS” and lived in a hotel. how hawt. but then my mom stopped and she moved in with me and my grandmamama, just as my grandmamama and grandpapapa got divorced, so he moved out. Then my grandmamama moved out but my mamama still lived there and we had druggy roomates then, but one of them stole a bunch from us and their little daughter would through my toy duckies at me cause she was a demon child so we kicked them out, yeaaaaah. SHOWED THEM!
Then, basically, when I was three, we moved to Eugene from California, ooooh. When I was a lil’ five year old I went to Harris. That was INTENSE. I was all smarticle and such… it obviously wore off, yeah. And I was like “WOOT HARRIS!” And it was crazy good. But then I switched to McCornack for 4th grade, and that was crazy too. I was like “HEY YOU CRAZY KIDS” And they were like “heeeey” like a black girl and I was like “ooh cool, cool, coolio, COOLIES.”
But then, after 5th grade, I moved to California again. Ah, woe is me. Although California was prettyyyy sweeeeet, and I lived right next to this village type thing and it was crazy and everything was like right around the corner and I was like “WOW EVERYTHINGS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!” it was intense.
Then I moved back to Oregon for 7th grade, which was even more intense. And uh, now I’m an 8th grader and I like the movie Cloverfield and Fight Club and PULP FICTION!!!!! And movies where people die and suchness. And I hate a lot of people. Like this one chick. Ew. And this annoying girl in Science. And this smelly chick. And yeah. THAT WAS AWESOME, OKAY? OKAY.

Whoa!

February 7, 2008

Sperm travels 26 miles per hour!!!!!!!!!!

COOL!

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