My Family Values

February 15, 2008

My family really values being yourself
That is why I am what I am
And do what I want
And say what I think
Oh dang
cause I didn’t have no daddy around when I was growing up
that’s why I’m wild and I don’t give a HUH!
oooh ooooh
fin

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BLACK JESUS? HOOOHOHOOOHOOOOH ooh

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My First Steps

February 15, 2008

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Once I was a baby
Babies are kind of dumb
All I remember is standing up
whilst sucking my thumb
it was then that one foot moved forward
and the other chose to follow
when I realized that I was walking
I said “see y’all tomorrow!”

Autobiography

February 8, 2008

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If you want my autoooooooo, want my autooooooobioooographyyyyy… BABY JUST ASK MEEEEEEE… Just keeding, that song is kinda lame, yeah.

But uh, yeah, I totally did this wrong because I wasn’t here when you all did it, SO EFF YOU GUYS. Except not. Woot.

Anyways, hey hey! This is about moi, and uh, when I was little my mommy was a big ol’ druggy and was like snort snort sniff sniff so I lived with my grandmamama. My grandmamama would be like “hey I’m gonna cook you some food and play with you” and I was like “woohoo!” but my mom was like “I LOVE DRUGS” and lived in a hotel. how hawt. but then my mom stopped and she moved in with me and my grandmamama, just as my grandmamama and grandpapapa got divorced, so he moved out. Then my grandmamama moved out but my mamama still lived there and we had druggy roomates then, but one of them stole a bunch from us and their little daughter would through my toy duckies at me cause she was a demon child so we kicked them out, yeaaaaah. SHOWED THEM!
Then, basically, when I was three, we moved to Eugene from California, ooooh. When I was a lil’ five year old I went to Harris. That was INTENSE. I was all smarticle and such… it obviously wore off, yeah. And I was like “WOOT HARRIS!” And it was crazy good. But then I switched to McCornack for 4th grade, and that was crazy too. I was like “HEY YOU CRAZY KIDS” And they were like “heeeey” like a black girl and I was like “ooh cool, cool, coolio, COOLIES.”
But then, after 5th grade, I moved to California again. Ah, woe is me. Although California was prettyyyy sweeeeet, and I lived right next to this village type thing and it was crazy and everything was like right around the corner and I was like “WOW EVERYTHINGS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!” it was intense.
Then I moved back to Oregon for 7th grade, which was even more intense. And uh, now I’m an 8th grader and I like the movie Cloverfield and Fight Club and PULP FICTION!!!!! And movies where people die and suchness. And I hate a lot of people. Like this one chick. Ew. And this annoying girl in Science. And this smelly chick. And yeah. THAT WAS AWESOME, OKAY? OKAY.

Whoa!

February 7, 2008

Sperm travels 26 miles per hour!!!!!!!!!!

COOL!